HOW TO GLEEK

Gleeking is that thing when you yawn and accidentally spit shoots out of your mouth. Scientifically it's a remnant from when we was cobras (Cobras -> Apes -> Neanderthals -> Soyjaks). If you've never gleeked don't stress. This is the cobra pit. Where we train you to release your inner snake that has slept dormant for millennia. It's time to reclaim it. Follow along for our HOW-TO.

1. Enter the mindframe of a snake. Picture yourself as a capable predator, and NOTHING like the PATHETIC simp you woke up as this morning.

2. Open your snake jaws, Put the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth. Fatten your tongue wide, as if you were trying to cover as much of the airway's passage to your throat as possible with the fatness of your tongue.

3. Yawning or biting the tip of your tongue will encourage saliva to flow, be careful not to bite too hard daddy...wait..

4. Inhale a bunch of air. This will pressurize the gleek and make it shoot out faster.

5. Be mindful of your surroundings because here's when things get wet. Don't aim at any minors, elders or potential partners, as they will shame you for any unsuccessful attempts and we've seen enough to know your ego is fragile. Leave that behind.

6. Rock your bottom jaw forwards and backwards to charge up the super soaker, keep that tongue fat, and envisage a helpless cowboy's leg in front of you, supple and ready for your venom

7. Gleek that Shit!

MEMES